I wanted to post this on here so that I would always have a copy of this journal entry wherever I go and like my cousin said there are probably a lot of people who would love to have a dream like this about a loved one they have lost.
Today I had a dream about my dad. The dream was so realistic that when I woke up I thought that the dream was a real memory. After about 10 seconds I realized that it wasn’t real and it made me really sad. In the dream my dad showed up to my work. I came around the corner from the bathroom and there he was standing there next to the computer department, leaning up against a display of printers. He was wearing a yellow blazer with shoulder pads in it and light yellow pants. He looked like a picture I have of him from the 80’s. It was weird because in the beginning of the dream it was almost like I knew it was a dream because I remember thinking ….My dad doesn’t dress like this anymore and then all of a sudden he was wearing jeans, cowboy boots and a leather jacket. We went to sit down at a table and then one of my bosses came over (he was never identified, just a guy who I knew was my boss) and asked me why I wasn’t working. I told him that I was visiting with my dad and I really needed to be with him right now and then he said “are you sick” and I said “no, he is” I told him I was going on my lunch break now. We were then on our bikes riding together, but we were on the highway with all the cars around us which is really weird. I remember the highway split and we got separated and he went to the right on the road that went up and over another highway. It curved away from me so I could see him riding uphill. He started to laugh as he waved to me and then disappeared around the corner. I was going straight and I was level to the ground so I couldn’t see him. The other thing I remember is that we must have been in Seattle or San Francisco because we were over water. It wasn’t the golden gate bridge but there was water on both sides of us and it was a bright sunny day. I didn’t recognize either of the places but that’s the feeling I got that it was one of those two locations. After riding for a few seconds I turned my bike around to go find him, I was now going against traffic. As I was coming back I remember seeing him all of a sudden coming down the ramp, also going against traffic and he was racing towards me laughing his ass off. We were both riding our bikes side by side back the way we came. We were talking and laughing, it felt like so much fun. The next thing I knew we were on a side street that had little shops on either side of us, it almost had a small town feel to it. I can’t remember what happened after that but I know we did a few more things before I woke up. As I woke I remember thinking, wow what a fun day I had and I was kind of remembering all the details. Then all of a sudden it hit me that it was just a dream and it didn’t actually happen and I started to get really upset. When I had first woken up I had such a good feeling in my heart, I felt happy that I got to spend the day with my dad like that. When I realized what the reality of the situation was it was like my heart broke, I became overwhelmed with sadness. I think that I’ve been trying to ignore the sadness or trying to not think about him and now it has all built up and I can’t not think about him or not cry. I’d like to think that he made me dream us together riding our bikes together like we use to do when I was little, that he was with me for a short period of time. I miss him so much…I miss my dad!